Social Media 101

by nulliparaora on October 10, 2013

Welcome to Social Media 101. This listing is a collection of my thoughts based on observations I’ve made while surfing the internet.


Here are a few things to keep in mind as you journey through the vast and wonderful world of the internet.

1. No one owes you anything. This includes:

  • Attention
  • Retweets
  • Likes
  • Comments
  • Agreement
  • Appreciation

If you post a status, comment, or update and you don’t get the number of likes, comments or responses you’d like, don’t have a meltdown. People have lives. Social media is jam packed full of virtual cacophony. Most of your friends aren’t sitting in front of a computer screen twenty-four hours a day, waiting for your every inane utterance, complaint, or musing.

2. Stop sharing pictures of yourself on the toilet or updates on your bathroom habits.

Everyone performs bodily functions. Updating us on your fecal situation, or to show us how your cat sits in your underwear while you take a dump isn’t necessary. We don’t need to know that much about you. It’s not, “edgy,” it’s just, blah.

3. Stop fishing. Examples include:

  • Posting photos of yourself in full makeup and showing off your best angle with captions like: “I’m ugly.” “Just me, be nice, no makeup.”
  • Typing leading statuses like: “I’m so tired of it all.” “No one cares.” “I hate this.” When someone asks, “What’s wrong?” You reply with: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Bull hockery, you liar. People who don’t want to talk about something don’t, and they certainly don’t post statuses about “it” either. There’s a word for people like this: phony.
  • Announcing mass deletions of friends/blocking of followers.

Just do it. If those people are useless, they won’t even know they’ve been deleted, unfriended, or blocked. The only reason I can fathom to make an announcement is to see if the masses will jump to get back in your good graces. Who do you think you are?  The online Pope? Prince? Get gone!

4. Stop PhotoShopping everything!

Most of the people on your friends list have seen not just you, but your family in real life. We know your eye color, body size, car, house, etc. You are not making an avatar, just post your photos and keep it moving. Keep posting fakes and eventually you’ll be outted.

5. Building from number four, stop trying to fool people into thinking you’re someone you’re not. AKA, “catfishing.” There is an illusion of anonymity on the internet. Please understand, if someone wants to find you, they will, and if you’ve invented stories about who you are and what you do, the results can be embarrassing for everyone involved.

6. If you resort to name calling, you’ve already lost.

For some reason, millions of people feel compelled to comment online about any and everything in an attempt to whip people into a frenzy. These folks are known as trolls. There are all kinds of trolls online:

  • Those who disagree with everything just for the heck of it.
  • Those who seem to dislike everything no matter what.
  • Those who chime in with irrelevant information.
  • Spammers.
  • Those who bring in derogatory, hateful, or sexist statements.

And then there are those who can’t complete a sentence without calling someone a name. If you cannot converse without attacking, you are useless in the discussion. Your entire point is invalidated because you are no longer rational, and are therefore, easily dismissed.

7. Just because you have an opinion, doesn’t mean you are right.

8. Just because someone disagrees with you, doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

9. Learn to write coherently in your primary language.

10. You don’t get to approve of someone else’s lifestyle. If someone lives differently than you do, they will continue to do so. Stating, “I don’t approve of homosexuality/interracial marriage/immigration. etc.” is meaningless. You are not the determining factor in the way people choose to exist. Statements like these only show one thing, prejudice.

What do you think? Should I add a Social Media 102 post?

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Christy October 10, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Hilarious and so true, Nulli! My fave was… “When someone asks, “What’s wrong?” You reply with: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Bull hockery, you liar.”

I agree with every single point you made!

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nulliparaora October 10, 2013 at 10:02 pm
Michelle/Ndayeni October 10, 2013 at 9:59 pm

I notice you didn’t say anything about tagging your friends on endless photos of chocolate and/or bacon ;)

Seriously though, great post :)

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nulliparaora October 10, 2013 at 10:01 pm

You guys have reached addiction level status with the bacon posts. Good gawd!

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angelblue October 10, 2013 at 10:19 pm

Mmmm…. bacon

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Milan October 12, 2013 at 2:31 pm

I love bacon! Excellent post.

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Flora October 10, 2013 at 11:28 pm

You taught me something. Sadly, I can barely type messages. Still havent fugured out posting pictures.

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nulliparaora October 11, 2013 at 12:02 am

Less is more these days. It’s all good! :D

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Tymber Dalton October 10, 2013 at 11:41 pm

Another one: Don’t add people to a Facebook group. Don’t “invite” them, either, because it actually ADDS them. Send them the link or share the link with them, but let them add themselves if they want to. And don’t friend someone on Fb and then immediately post a, “Hey, like my crap,” kind of link to them. LOL

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nulliparaora October 10, 2013 at 11:59 pm

*nods* Definitely going in the next one.

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The BookChick October 11, 2013 at 7:33 am

Amen, Tymber. Amen!

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Kay @ Love Bites and Silk October 11, 2013 at 3:13 am

Great post, Nulli.
You’ve got to add the people who post links on your wall and insist your like their pages or who friend you and send you messages to buy their products without even bothering to get to know you. :)

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Rosanna Leo October 11, 2013 at 7:45 am

So good, Nulli. So true. LOL

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nulliparaora October 11, 2013 at 12:12 pm

Thanks Rosanna! :P

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Evilsnoman October 12, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Or you could be like me and not have an addiction to social media :) love the looks on peoples faces when they tell me I cant be found on facebook and I simply tell them I dont have one! Its a cross between shock and confusion and quite funny to see.

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